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| My vivacious & fun Michaela |
Almost exactly 2 weeks after sending Michaela off on her
mission to Germany with much fanfare and excitement, we sent Kiana (her twin
sister) to Idaho for her sophomore year of college, with less fanfare but with
just as much love, concern and gratitude for the choices that she has made. I've
had a unique opportunity to mother two amazing, spiritually-mature, capable, grounded,
and wonderful twin girls, one of which has chosen to serve a mission
for her church and the other who has decided that a mission is not in her plans
at this time.
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| My tenderhearted & cute Kiana |
Although in our church all worthy young men are strongly
encouraged to serve a full-time mission, young women are not under the same
obligation. It is a completely voluntary decision. Granted, with the recent age
change at which young women can serve missions, a much higher percentage of
young women are now choosing to serve missions. And, naturally, it puts a
little more pressure on all young women. Where it used to be that a young woman
choosing to serve a mission was an exception to the rule, it’s now almost as if
a worthy, active young woman not serving a mission is an exception to the rule.
This pressure bothers many young women, but, really, it’s just a result of the
numbers. If you’re at a party and talking to a group of 5 students and 4 of them
tell you that they are majoring in engineering, you automatically ask the 5th
student what his or her major is. You don’t intend to put pressure on him, it’s
just that you now have information about 4 of the 5 group members and you want
to fill the informational void about the fifth. And I agree that there are more
tactful and less tactful ways to get that information. For example, I could ask
“Are you majoring in engineering, too?” which puts a little more pressure on
the individual than asking: “So, what are your plans?” Anyways, I could go on
and on about tact and what to say and what not to say, but the fact remains
that those young women not serving missions will get asked (and asked often)
whether or not they are planning on serving a mission. And if your twin sister
is has announced that she is serving a mission, then you get asked that
question even more than most people…which brings me back to my sweet Kiana.
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| 8 yr old soccer buddies |
My twin girls are best friends, but they are also very, very different. In fact, of all my
children, those two are probably the most different from each other than any of
the others, but not in a ‘good and bad’ way; but rather they are different in a
‘good and good’ way. For example, they’re both smart, but have drastically
different learning styles. They’re both strikingly beautiful in their own individual way.
They both love fashion but have extremely different clothing preferences. They’re both social
but have very different mannerisms and interact with others very differently.
They’re both athletic, but excel at different sports in different ways. And they are both deeply
spiritual, but differ in how publicly or privately they are comfortable
expressing their spirituality.
Both girls have given the decision to serve or not to serve
much thought and prayer and both girls have received different answers to those
prayers. And, as parents, we are equally proud of them. The fact that they both
are actively seeking the Lord’s guidance in their lives is enough to make any
parent happy. Yes, we are thrilled that Michaela is serving a mission…very,
very thrilled. But that does not diminish the love, gratitude and respect that
we have for Kiana and her decisions. She is a remarkable young woman with a
heart of gold. She has high aspirations for her education and her future and
she is working diligently to meet her goals. She is determined, thoughtful and
has a resolute strength about her. Her sweet, calm, and caring maternal influence
is such a blessing in our home. She touches many lives with her selfless, quiet
service and when she’s gone, we all feel the void of her absence. Although, leaving on a 18 month mission naturally elicits
more fanfare and attention than merely returning to college for your sophomore
year, we sent her off to school yesterday with just as much love, joy, and hope
for her success as her twin received 2 weeks ago. It was a quieter farewell,
but no less heartfelt.
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| Photos by Jenny Brooke Photography |
As I contemplated the difference between the two farewells (Michaela’s farewell with all the family
activities, the open house, speaking in church, the pictures and all the
excitement and well-wishes compared to Kiana’s farewell which consisted of a
few shopping trips to get some needed college items and some quiet family time)
I was struck by Kiana’s selfless, composed, and almost regal demeanor. She has
never once even hinted at feeling anything except joy and excitement for her sister’s
upcoming mission. She has given Michaela her full support and love. There has
been absolutely no jealousy, envy or complaining. When countless people have
asked her over and over if she’s planning on a mission, her answer is always sweet
and polite; never annoyed or exasperated. As I've observed my beautiful,
poised, gracious Kiana this summer, my heart has swelled with pride at the
wonderful young woman that she has become. I’m amazed at her growth, her composure
and her maturity. And I’m excited to see what her future holds for her. Similarly, when I think of my energetic and
vibrant Michaela serving her mission with so much passion and enthusiasm for
the Lord’s work, I am equally proud of and grateful for the young woman that
she has become. They are each precious daughters of God with so much potential
for good. They each love their Savior and understand the joy and peace that
comes through following His will. Although their paths are different, they are
equally honorable and noble. I couldn't be more pleased with their choices and
decisions—both for the missionary twin and for the college student twin. From
the moment they were born, I knew that Heavenly Father had entrusted us with
some very special spirits. And words can’t
express the joy and gratitude that I feel for the blessing and honor of being
the mother of these two remarkable young women.
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| My sweet twinners. (Photos by Jenny Brooke Photography) |
