Thursday, August 10, 2017

Socially Savvy Tea Party Activity

We had a tea party activity where we practiced etiquette and also practiced some of our social savvy skills.

Prepare/Bring:
·        Make big fruit salad
·        Get flowers for tables (and vases) 
·        5 copies of all the YW names, cut into strips and placed in 5 bowls 
·        ·        Lemonade 
·        Pretty serving dishes? 
·        Bring in rolling chalkboard, get chalk, picture of Christ
·        Make numbers for each plate setting 1-6 (8 of each)
·        Print out conversation starters, one set for each table 
·         
Set up
·        Set tables with white cloths, flowers and china (use plastic forks) and napkins. Use Value fabric to have different colored tables…or put numbers on tables
·        Set up one long table with hot water and tea packets

7:00       Opening Exercises in Primary room. As girls walk into the gym, assign them different tables. 

Tea Party Outline
·        Welcome to our Tea Party!!
o   Why are we having a tea party?
§  Who goes to tea parties? (royalty?, ladies, people who are refined)
§  What kind of conversation would you expect? (refined, dignified, respectful, educated)
·        Graciousness!! (genuinely kind without any stuffiness or awkwardness)
o   Are you royalty? Are you ladies?
§  Does a lady have to be all dressed up? And be fancy? Stuffy?
§  How would you describe a true lady (or gentlewoman):
§  What are they like, how do they act? (Think GRACIOUS, KIND, SINCERE, FRIENDLY, REFINED)
§  How do they make you feel? (Loved and important)
§  Do you like people who make you feel important????
·        Do any of you know someone who is truly gracious? Does this person lift you and motivate you to be your best?
§  How would you feel inside, if you spent your day helping others to feel loved and important? (Think of the potential you have, the love and light that you are able to shine on those around you!!
·        ANYONE can lift and love others. You don’t need the latest fashionable clothing, you don’t need to have a perfect body or perfect hair, you don’t need to be popular – THINK about it!!
o   How do we BECOME more gracious?
§  FIRST we need to develop charity. We need to sincerely care for and love those around us.
§  SECOND we need to practice our social skills and learn how to interact in a way that truly lifts others.
o   Turn time over to Angela to go over BEING truly gracious.
§  Body Language (at ease, open, inclusive, smiling)
§  Eye Contact (smile with your eyes, look into their souls)
§  Include (always be looking for anyone who could be included—scan the room)
§  Notice (be looking for interesting, positive characteristics)
§  Geniune (care, interest, love—be truly focused on others, not on yourself or your own agenda)
·        BODY LANGUAGE
o   Girls start eating
o   Use a conversation starter slip. Try to eat and pay attention to the person on your right and your left. Use your body language to make sure that everyone at the table is feeling included. Also, break the ice by talking about the food, serving each other drinks and passing food, etc. SMILE at each other.
·        EYE CONTACT
o   Eye Contact Game (switch places, different emotions, etc.)
·        INCLUDING
o   All partners start separate conversations (use conversation starter slip—in bowl on table). The plate settings at each table are numbered. I will call out a number (or tap a person at each table). That person tries to reel in all the conversations into one, by using body language, eye contact and names.
·        NOTICE
o   Game with jar of names of girls (Angela will bring). Girls take name and describe that person (in a positive light) to partner. See who can get the most in 30 seconds.
·        GENUINE
o   End with short talk about becoming Christlike. How these skills will help you draw others to Him. How we start realizing our royal potential as “Daughters of God” as we develop true charity for others and the skills/ability to lift others. This is the mark of true royalty, of good character, when we practice BEING more like our Savior.

General Conference, April 1979  Royden G. Derrick  The Heritage of Royal Families

Have you ever dreamed of belonging to a royal family? A royal family has the authority to be such—received from one who has a right to bestow such an honor. You likely have a person holding such a dignified honor right in your own home. The Apostle Peter, addressing the Saints of his day, said, “Ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people” (1 Pet. 2:9). Don’t you have this same royal priesthood in your home?

A royal family is a family whose members are honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, temperate, patient, charitable, humble, diligent, well read, and law-abiding. The Lord has cautioned, “But I have commanded you to bring up your children in light and truth” (D&C 93:40). He also instructed us, “And they shall … teach their children to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord” (D&C 68:28). He further said, “Seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom; seek learning, even by study and also by faith” (D&C 88:118).

A royal family is a family of well-disciplined parents and children who control their appetites. The Lord promises those who do so, “And all saints who remember to keep and do these sayings, walking in obedience to the commandments, … shall find wisdom and great treasures of knowledge, even hidden treasures” (D&C 89:18–19).

A royal family is a family that is exemplary. They set a pattern for other families to follow. The Savior said, speaking to his faithful followers:

“Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.

“Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” (Matt. 5:14–16.)



Here are some of the games we played:

The game
1. Each person has to write down the names of each girl in our group. Each name is written onto a separate piece of paper, folded and put into a bowl.
2. Get into pairs and have someone as time keeper. Each pair takes it in turns for one to pick a name and describe who they are in one minute (without saying the name!) i.e. “he’s married to the one that was Posh in the Spice girls”. You are only allowed one pass and the pass name has to go back into the pot.
3. At the end of the minute, keep a total of how many the pair got right and then pass the bowl to the next pair to have their turn.
4. The bowl then gets passed back to the previous pair for them to switch roles (the other describes while the partner guesses).The bowl gets passed between teams until all names have run out
5. The winners are the team with the most names guessed correctly once all names have gone from the bowl
To make the game more entertaining, it’s good to put some random names that will be hard or embarrassing to describe.

 We didn't do this activity exactly, but did our own variation:

Eye Contact

Copyright 2007 by Ken Sapp
This icebreaker game is similar to Connected but the connections are visual ones as participants make eye contact with one another. You can use this icebreaker to discuss communication, attention, community, and connections or relationships. It can also be used for team building and relationship building in training events.
Description
Sitting or standing in a circle, youth look across the circle at someone and then when mutual eye contact has been made, they switch places while maintaining eye contact the entire time.
Resources
None
Preparation
None
What to Do
1.      Sit the group in chairs in a circle, or stand in a circle with everyone facing inward toward the center of the circle.
2.      Each person must announce his or her name and one characteristics about himself/herself. You could also have everyone answer the same common question like “What is your favorite movie?”
3.      Participants then look across the circle to another participant. At any time two persons make mutual eye contact, they must announce the name of the other person and begin moving to switch places. They must maintain eye contact the entire time until they have switched. They must not rush, but move slowly and purposefully.
4.      Once they have switched they must again look around the circle until they make mutual eye contact with another person. They cannot exchange places with the same person twice in a row.
5.      Many pairs can exchange at the same time.

Variations
1.      Play the game silently
2.      Have participants exchange greetings in the middle of the circle.
3.      As the game continues, periodically call out various emotions they people should try to express through their eyes only (care, love, anger, disappointment, honesty, encouragement, forgiveness, trust, hope, joy, etc).

Taking it to the Next Level
·        Did anyone feel uncomfortable maintaining eye contact the entire time? Why?
·        How did you feel to have someone’s attention focused completely on you? Why?
·        Ok, admit it. Who broke eye contact during the exchange? How did it affect the exchange?
·        Is eye contact important in relationships? Why or why not?
·        What functions does eye contact have in relationships?
·        What feelings did you experience in this game? Why?
·        Did you have different feelings with different people? Why?
·        Is there anyone you did not make eye contact with? Why? Look at that person now. Are your feelings any different than from those people you made eye contact with?
·        It has been said that the eyes are a window into the soul. What do you think this means?
·        What things do a person’s eyes reveal? How accurate are they?
·        If you were to look into Christ’s eyes what do you think you would see?
·        If Christ were to look you straight in the eyes, how would you feel? What do you think he might see?
Teacher’s Note: This is a fun way of looking at Bible Stories that involve encounters between two people. Read the story. At crucial points throughout the story, stop the narrative and then ask: “What feelings might you see reflected in each of the characters eyes at this point in the story?” For example, in the story of Jesus and the woman at the well. Do you think the woman was trying to avoid eye contact? When Jesus asked her for a drink, what might you see reflected in her eyes? As she looked back at Christ, what do you think she might have seen reflected in his eyes? Then continue the story. Later, when he tells her he has living water from which she will never thirst again, stop the story and ask the same questions. This can be applied to numerous narratives and events in the Bible and may provide a fresh perspective on a well known story.
Conclusion
Our eyes reveal a lot about us. Look a person in the eyes and you can learn a lot about them. As you seek to build meaningful relationships with others, take some time to look into their eyes. Try to see the world through their eyes. Try to see them through Christ’s eyes! When you do, you will get a little more insight into God’s love and place for you in this world.
Action Point
·        Try to see others through the eyes of Christ?

·        Take a little time, away from the hustle and bustle of life, and spend some focused time with someone this week in eye to eye communication. By your attention let them know you care!


Another Game Idea:
Pink Pig: A Table Manners Game
Christine Brown
Christine BrownYahoo! Contributor Network
Nov 21, 2008 "Share your voice on Yahoo! websites. 
Start Here."
·        MORE:
·        Pigs
It is becoming more apparent that a standard code of etiquette for children at the dinner table is not as prevalent as it once was. When trying to teach my children what was considered proper manners at the dinner table we came up with a very clever game to help us learn. We simply call it "The Pink Pig", and the rules are very simple and easy to follow for anyone ages seven and up.
Place a small plastic pig in the center of your kitchen table. When anyone at the table does not follow an agreed upon dinner table rule then the pig gets placed before them, and the rule that is not being followed is announced. The person with the pig in front of them needs to be on the lookout for another rule breaker and try to get rid of the pig before the end of the meal. Whoever ends up with the pig at meals end has to clear the table and wash the dinner dishes.
A few example of dinner table rules to follow:
1. No talking with food in your mouth.
2. Never rest your elbows on the table, and both hands should be present during the meal, unless reaching for your napkin.
3. No inappropriate dinner conversation (not the time to discuss anything that would make your food unappetizing at the table, or make a guest uncomfortable).
4. No reaching over anyone for food, instead request for something to be passed to you.
5. Always contribute to the dinner conversation, but do not monopolize it.
6. You must try at last a bite of all food prepared by the host, unless there are allergies or religious convictions involved.
7. Ask permission from the host(usually mom or dad) to leave the table at any time.
8. If getting up to refill drinks or get seconds, ask if anyone else needs anything.
These are a few easy rules, that can be added to for more formal occasions, but are great starters for any family. We have also played this game at casual dining restaraunts and used a pink sugar packet as our pig.



More Socially Savvy Ideas for Youth





GAME 2 – Speed Conversations (10 min)
(Combine 2 groups if needed or split one group in half) Have inner circle facing out and outer circle facing in

· Give girls list of conversation starters and have them practice 1 minute conversations with each other
· When the time is up have the outer group move one seat to the right
· Start up new conversation on a different topic
· See how much you can learn about each other that you didn’t already know.




Ice Breakers
·  Where did you grow up?
·  Do you have any pets?
·  Do you have any siblings?
·  Do you know what your name means?
·  What type of phone do you have?
·  What did you do this past weekend?
·  What are your plans for this weekend?
·  What do you like to do in your spare time?
·  What is the first thing you do when you wake up?
·  What is the last thing you do before you go to sleep?
·  What is your middle name?
·  What was the last thing you purchased?
·  What is your favorite holiday?
·  What is your favorite day of the week?
·  If you could meet anyone in history, who would it be?
·  What do you like to do to relax?
·  Are you a saver or a spender?
·  Do you play any instruments?

Childhood Questions
·  What was your favorite children’s book?
·  What is your first childhood memory?
·  What type of kid were you (e.g. spoiled, rebellious, well-behaved, quiet, obnoxious...)?
·  What is one thing you miss about being a kid?
·  What did you want to grow up to be when you were younger?

School/Work Topics
·  Where did (do) you go to school?
·  What was (is) your favorite subject?
·  What was (is) your least favorite subject?
·  What's the first thing you do after school/work?
·  Were you the class clown or teacher's pet?
·  What do you do for a living?
·  What is your dream job?
·  If you had $10 million, would you still be working/going to school?
·  What was your least favorite job that you've ever had?
·  Have you ever been fired?

Relationship Questions
·  What is the first think you notice about a guy or girl?
·  Have you ever been in love?
·  Do you believe in soul mates?
·  What are your turn offs?
·  Do you believe in love at first sight?
·  Do you prefer short hair or long hair on a guy/girl?
·  What do you look for in a guy/girl?
·  Who was the last person you called?
·  Would you rather be rich and never find true love or be poor and find true love?

Sports Conversation Starters
·  Who is your favorite athlete?
·  How often do you exercise?
·  What is your favorite sports team?
·  Do you play any sports?

Vacation Questions
·  Where was the last place you went on vacation?
·  Where do you plan on going for your next vacation?
·  If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
·  What countries have you traveled to?
·  What was your worst vacation experience?

Food/Drink Topics
·  What is your favorite drink?
·  What is your favorite food?
·  What is your favorite meal of the day?
·  Are there any foods that you dislike or will not eat?
·  Are there any foods that you would like to try?
·  What is your favorite restaurant?
·  What is your favorite pizza topping?
·  What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
·  What did you have for dinner last night?
·  What is the signature dish that you cook?

Entertainment Topics
·  Who is your favorite actor?
·  What is your favorite movie of all time?
·  What was the worst movie you've ever seen?
·  What is your favorite TV show?
·  What was the last movie you've seen?
·  What type of music do you like to listen to?
·  Who is your favorite music artist?
·  What was the last book you read?

Personal Questions
·  Who do you look up to?
·  Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?
·  What are you scared of?
·  What is the best piece of advice you've received?
·  What do your parents do for a living?
·  What is your biggest regret?
·  What is your most embarrassing moment?
·  What is the craziest thing you've ever done?
·  What are some of your short-term goals?
·  What are some of your long-term goals?

Misc. Conversation Starters
·  Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
·  Tell me about your first car.
·  If you could have any super power, what would it be?
·  If you were stranded on a deserted island and you could have only 1 item, what would it be?
·  Do you believe in luck?
·  Do you play video games?
·  Do you believe people are inherently good?
·  How often do you shower?
·  What is your favorite board game?
·  What is your favorite charity?
·  Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket?
·  Do you prefer cats or dogs?
·  Would you prefer to live in the city or a rural area?
·  What is your favorite season?
·  Do you speak any other languages?
·  Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
·  What is the best thing that happened to you during the past week?
·  What is the worst thing that happened to you during the past week?
·  Do you sing in the shower?
·  What is the most valuable thing that you own?
·  What would you do if you only had 24 hours left to live?


I can't take credit for the following points. I found many of these ideas on various websites:

1. Be a good listener. You can give visual clues that you are listening. You can nod your head, lean in towards the speaker to let them know you are paying attention. 

2. Be a warehouse of information. This entails reading a lot and watching many documentaries on television. But information does not have to be encyclopedic or boring. Read and learn about things you are interested in, but take time as well to learn about things you think other people would be interested in. Knowing a few good facts that other people can relate to is better for chit chat purposes than having a head full of information that makes the eyes of other people glaze over.

3. Care about the “vibe” more than the topic. A conversation is much more than an exchange of facts and ideas. It is an exchange of energy. What many people miss is that when you know how to make chit chat, it means you can create a positive exchange of energy. The topic is just an excuse, so it doesn’t have to be a deep topic. When you’re making chit chat, you want to focus more on being friendly and positive than on picking the right topic or saying the right things. Smile, relax, joke around, be spontaneous and be silly. Remember that your vibe comes mainly from your attitude.

4. Don’t get “stuck” on the trivial stuff. Keep in mind that chit chat is not a destination. It’s just a temporary station. If an interaction with a person goes well, do move the conversation to deeper and more personal topics. You can talk about topics (e.g., family and relationships, career plans, life goals, challenges, etc.). You now find yourself in a new land: the land of bigger chit chat. Ultimately, a strong bond between two people is created when they talk about the most meaningful things, in the most meaningful way. Knowing how to make chit chat is one of the key people skills to master. From there, if you also know how to have charisma and engage others in more intimate conversation, you can get outstanding results with people and you can build a highly fulfilling social life for yourself.

5. Don't melt-away from conversations. Make a graceful exit. Try and shake the hand of the person you've been talking to. Show appreciation by saying, "It was interesting hearing about your job."

6. Greet warmly and use names. Make sure if you don't remember someone's name to ask. And, be prepared to introduce people to each other. It's also important to smile and be the first to say hello. 

7. Get a life. It’s easy to make chit chat when you have a lot of things to chat about. People who know how to make chit chat well have a rich inner - and especially outer - life. Conversation is for them just a matter of expressing that. It’s much harder to make chit chat well when all you do is work a repetitive job or play on the computer all day. A rich lifestyle creates content and it helps you engage others. If you don’t have one, it’s time to create it (e.g., read, travel, try new things, take on various hobbies, do some charity work, socialize, etc.).

8. Keep a diary. This will serve as a repository of any information you feel is worth collecting. Anecdotes, important pieces of facts, names of people you need to remember - anything can go in that diary. The point is to read through the diary to bone up on the information that you feel is important to remember.

9. Keep it meaningful. Making chit chat makes a lot of sense with people you’ve just met. Imagine asking a person you know for 30 seconds: “So, how’s you sex life?” That is way too intrusive! Chit chat on the other hand provides a method to ease into the discussion. When you make chit chat, the subjects may be superficial for comfort, but they should be subjects you care about and approach in a straightforward manner, staying away from clichés. In this way, you can make the discussion meaningful for you – and for the other person. Focus on what is interesting as a topic and on what is real within you. You’ll make the talk fun even though you keep it small.

10. Learn to listen to what people around you are saying. Did your doctor just say he wants to go on vacation? Ask him when and where. Has your mother been telling you that she has back pains? Inquire whether they are getting worse. Did the cashier inform you that she is banking on being promoted soon? Congratulate her in advance. These are all opportunities to make chit chat, because you cared enough to listen to what they were telling you.

11. Make it a point to join groups of people anywhere just to make chit chat. Have you noticed that when many people are gathered together in one place, someone inevitably strikes up a conversation with another person there? Some people are quite shy though and leave it to other people to make the first move. That is okay, so long as you try to join in the conversation as well.

12. One of the best ways to learn about another person and help them feel as though you are interested in them is to ask questions and listen carefully to their responses. It may help you to prepare questions beforehand for the person you are meeting. Also, you can take a few minutes to learn something about the person you are going to meet before you meet. 

13. Prepare for conversation. Before going anywhere, you need to make sure you have two or three things to talk about. It only takes a couple of minutes to prepare. The worst time to think of what to say is when you actually have to say something. You can talk about current events or what you already know about the person. But you have to be prepared. 

14. Show an interest and dig deeper. Everybody should avoid clichéd questions that merely lead to clichéd answers that no one really cares about. "How was your day?" is one. You'll never know how someone's day was unless you dig deeper. You could say, "What went on at work today?" That kind of question will bring a more detailed, thoughtful answer, and you can follow up with another question. You have to actually be interested in the other person to have a good conversation.

15. Stop being an advisor. There's a real temptation in the course of conversation to respond to someone with advice. Resist that temptation. No one asked for advice. They just want to be heard. You don't have to solve people's problems in your conversations.

16. Treat chit chat with strangers as a skill you want to master. That means you need to have plenty of opportunity to make mistakes. Give yourself permission to make mistakes. That means you are experimenting and learning. Eventually you will become better at making conversation with new people.

17. Try talking to yourself in the mirror. This allows you to practice your chit chat skills in private. You can then catch any bad habits that you have, like pursing your lips or licking your lips when you speak.

18. Try to overcome any feelings of shyness or lack of self-confidence by participating in more opportunities to do chit chat. There's no getting around it - you learn how to make chit chat by doing chit chat whenever and wherever you can. 

19. Practice your chit chat skills on people you encounter in your daily life such as the gasoline attendant who fills your car tank with gasoline every week, or the bus driver who accepts your fare for the daily commute to the office. Practicing hones your chit chat skills so that when you have to attend that important community function you will find chit chat to be easier (if not second nature by then.)

20. Be patient with yourself as you learn the fine art of chit chat. Start very small with small talk. Then move on to bigger small talk.